For instance, lets look at game 4, the Yankees started the highest paid pitcher in baseball (CC Sabathia),ended it with the highest – paid closer (Rivera), jumped in front with a run by the highest-paid shortstop (Jeter) and put the game away, with salt in the wound,  in the ninth when the highest – paid catcher (Posada) drove in the highest-paid first baseman (Teixeira) and baseball’s highest-paid player (Rodriguez) Nice to have unlimited funds to bring back a Dynasty.

This Friday October 09, 2009 Mel's Diners will serve a "FREE" breakfast for a donation to Helping Kids with Cancer from 6:30 a.m. until 11:00 a.m.  We are asking for a minimum $5 donation but encouraging people to give generously. The breakfast will consist of two eggs, two pieces of bacon, hash browns, and two pancakes with their choice of bottomless coffee or a glass of orange juice.

There is also a silent auction for dinner for two every month for a year.  Please ask at the counter for the bid sheet.  The highest bidder making a tax deductible donation will receive $300 in gift certificates.

Helping Kids with Cancer provides an opportunity to rally our communities in support of this important cause.  Children, ranging in age from infants to age 19 are being treated in the seven county region of SW Florida: Lee, Collier, Glades, Hendry, Desoto, Charlotte and Manatee/Sarasota at The Children's Hospital of Southwest Florida. Before the establishment of the outpatient center, children with cancer or other blood disorders would have to travel all the way to Miami or Tampa for treatment. Currently, plans are underway to build a 12-bed pediatric inpatient unit. Children requiring hospitalization while undergoing chemotherapy cannot risk exposure to common cold germs due to their compromised immune systems.  A unit designed specifically to meet their unique requirements allows children to be treated
in a healing environment, with a child friendly staff and standards. No child is denied treatment as a result of their family's inability to pay.

 Thank you for your support.

You shouldn't read this article if you're a person with low self-esteem. I don't need my inbox filled with emails from teary-eyed people reaffirming how astute my observations are by shrieking at me for ruining their lives.

Some people get away with murder in our society, especially when it comes to the visual pollution they call fashion. So I'm going to do what few people, few Dumbasses like me have ever done by criticizing you. Sure, you may be thinking "but Bob, people criticize fashion all the time!" Yes, but not guys like me, and definitely not dumbasses like me....Until now.

Crocs look like crap and they make your feet smell.

When I see people wearing Crocs, I know immediately that we have nothing in common, and that we could never be friends or have any meaningful kind of relationship. They come in every color imaginable yet look bad with every other article of clothing ever created. The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism.

To their credit though, Crocs serve as an excellent idiot barometer; you can tell a lot about people wearing them. For example, Amazon.com suggests products that other customers have purchased based on the item you're shopping for. Here are the suggestions for Crocs:

• ·       Pabst Blue Ribbon “Light” (12 pack of course)
• ·       Cheesey Corn Dogs (Frozen, 12 pack, see above)
• ·       Giant Hollywood sunglasses with Fake jewels
• ·       Dale Earnhardt NASCAR duffle bag
• ·       Sizzler gift card
• ·       Truck balls (I am not kidding!)
• ·       CD/ Single “Plain white T’s” “Hey there Delilah”

When it comes to shoes, there are usually three deciding factors: quality, price, and style. Some shoes are cheap and stylish, but poor quality, while others are stylish and durable, but expensive. Crocs usually go for $30-$60, which doesn't sound like much for a shoe, until you consider that what you're really paying for are melted pellets squirted into a cast-iron mold in some province in China. Crocs have the rare combination of being expensive, poor quality, and ugly. It's quite a feat for one shoe to suck this bad.

People who wear Crocs go on and on about how comfortable they are, and how it's supposedly odor resistant because it's made out of some kind of anti-bacterial foam. Great point, dipshits! You know what else it's resistant to? You getting invited to party at my house. Then as if the shoes weren't disgusting enough, Crocs introduced a product called "Crocs butter" that's supposed to restore that illustrious injection-molded sheen to those gaping holes they call shoes:

You know that feeling you get when you're full and slightly nauseous and you burp and you can taste the partly digested food in the back of your throat? There isn't a word in the English language to succinctly describe it, but I will hereby refer to it as: croc-butter.

Peace and bacon grease!

Waiting in line recently at a local coffeehouse I was blown away by the absolute arrogance of a young woman standing two or three places ahead of me.

She had already irritated everyone within earshot by conducting a very animated cell-phone conversation in her singsong, Valley girl, yuppie voice. But now it was her turn to order and the cafe's irritation turned to cold fury as she impatiently waved off the barista to complete her thought (which no doubt required a herculean effort). Alas for young Brie, or whatever her name was, she picked the wrong guy to trifle with. Our barista tossed her out of line and took the next person's order. She huffed off, still tethered to her phone, to our general delight.

Today, we consider the mobile phone. More than the personal computer and, now, the iPod, this is the technology that even the most technophobic of cats is likeliest to possess. In other words, they're all over the place. It's understood why people use cell phones. What we're concerned with here is how they use 'em.

Too often the answer is "rudely." Yeah, "rude cell-phone user" has been done to death over the years. But these columns keep getting written for a reason: There are still far too many thoughtless idiots out there. So let's try it again.

Not everyone who uses a cell phone is as willfully thoughtless as our friend Brie. But the level of rudeness isn't the issue. It's the mere fact of rudeness itself -- that's the issue.

Mobile phones have helped to make a crass and vulgar society even crasser and more vulgar. Portability makes it possible for anyone to take a private conversation public and that's never a good idea. In its way, some moron babbling into a cell phone is as obtrusive and obnoxious as the idiot who plays his car stereo at full throttle next to you at the stop light.

Look, you are not the King of the World nor is the world your personal playground. Do not share with us your musical tastes, lunch choice, or your recent sexual escapade and your latest wheeling’s and dealings. In public places, you have an obligation to hold up your end of the implied social contract by not imposing yourself and your stink on those around you. This is crucial to a civilized society and just because technology allows you to act like a braying ass in public doesn't mean you should do it. Quite the contrary, in fact, you need to be more aware of your surroundings than ever. Peace out and cell phones on vibrate please…

The twelve steps forObamamania recovery 

1. We admitted we were powerless over hisappealing auraand that our lives and our nation had become unmanageable. 

2. We came to believe that powers such as democracy, liberty, loyalty to nation, and independence weregreater than personal charm andempty promisesand could restore us to sanity. 

3. We made a decision to turn away our will and lives from the false messiah as we understood him.  

4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of the shallow reasons for voting for him. 

5. We admitted to ourselves and to friends and family members (who had serious concerns about an inexperienced person with shameful associates being qualified for the most important position in the nation) the exact nature of our wrongs. 

6. We were entirely ready to read the Constitution and learn more about the Founding Fathers and the principles of this nation in order to remove these defects from our character. 

7. We cleared our thinking so that we neither discounted associations with rabid anti-Semites nor foundconvoluted rationalizations for such associations convincing.

8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed (people who use banks, people who drive cars, people who might get sick and die in a nation with a single medical provider, Israelis who are left to fend for themselves against the murderous intentions of the Iranian regime, the Iranian protestors whose cries we ignored, Muslim women, whose abusers we protected in the name of cultural diversity,bloggers who were reported to the authorities for contradicting the official White House position. Radio talk-show hosts whose criticismswere silenced by the "Fairness Law."The list is too long to complete.)and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. We spoke up at town hall meetings to protect our rights as Americans. We lobbied our senators and representatives for legislation that would re-strengthen the almost severed ties between Israel and the U.S. We were relentless in our demands that this nation not blame Israel for the lack of peace in the Middle East, but put the full force of our power on Tehran which threatened the existence of the Jewish State of Israel. We insisted that our elected officials and media not appease our enemies by refusing to even name them and undermine the security of our country and the world by expressing more concern for terrorists than for their victims.

10. We continued to take personal inventory, read the Weekly Standard andthe American Thinkerand watch Fox News to keep ourselves from succumbing to the pandering, paid for propagandists that make up much of the major media. We volunteered to help and financially supported candidates who had a strong record of upholding the best interests of the U.S. and its allies. We applied facts and reasoning to the comedic outbursts of Bill Maher, Al Frankin and Nancy Pelosi and when they were wrong, we promptly admitted it.

11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our spiritual contact with God, as we understood Him/Her, praying only for wisdom to stop dismissing those with strong religious affiliations as "kooks" and start showing respect for the Judeo-Christian underpinnings of our nation's success.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to Obamamaniacs, and to practice these principles in all our affairs so that the United States of America could survive until the next election.

A friend suggested a perfect meeting place for these OA (Obama Anonymous) groups--reform synagogues, liberal churches (eg, Unitarian), community centers in liberal 'hoods, eg Upper West Side, Chicago's North Shore, just about anywhere in Massachusetts and the San Francisco Bay area.

You should be cautious about knowing who I am. It irks me. To be known. It's f*#king impolite. To think you know someone. As if a someone is just so. "I know you!" Oh do you now? How about now? And what about now?....Now?

You should be wary of names and photographs. They are liars. They freeze what wants to melt and change.

I have stared long into mirrors. I don't know me. Why should you? I don't pound out letters to find myself. Let's burn that mother down. I am not some butterfly pinned to a science project or some stuffed Jackalope nailed to the wall in some obscure gin mill stared at by drunks at the bar.

How do you get from moment to moment? Focus now. Shit. You missed it. You have to watch. Have you ever watched yourself from here to there? Focus hard enough and things get blurry.

A self is a product of blurred distinctions. But what of that blur? That's where it's at. You think you're some thing but you're not. You're a bomb.

Relax. I will lighten up. There will be more jokes. Laughter is the best kind of melting. I’m just having a moment.